So. It’s World Wide Knit in Public Day. Have I been out of the house today? No. Have I been reading the papers? Yup. And guess what? WWKIPD is mentioned in the Guardian newspaper. Yay for the Guardian, right? Umm, no, not really.
You see, Steven Wells, the fluently persuasive journalist man from the Guardian has very intelligently conflated (that’s merged together, in case he’s reading) alternative culture and knitting in public day, and concluded that:
Today, all over the world, thousands of punks, goths, emos and other ferociously tattooed, face-pierced miscreant bastard folk-devil scum will take to the streets to protest their disgust with war, oppression and bourgeois conformity by crocheting hideous green twat-hats with stupid ear flaps.
Funny that. The WWKIPD website just says the day:
Began as a way for knitters to come together and enjoy each other’s company
And that now it has become a way of:
Showing the general public that knitting can be a community activity
Hmm. Nothing there about anti-war protests, or anything alternative at all in fact. But that would be really too boring to report in a highbrow newspaper such as the Guardian, right?
And the cleverest bit of all? The eloquent journalist man has brilliantly anticipated that some knitters may not like what he says, so he very astutely pre-empts any criticism said knitters may make by implying that what he’s saying is all a bit of a joke. And if we don’t laugh?
Well, then this is what he has to say in that eventuality:
Scratch a knitter – discover a Knit Nazi. Like the Nazis, alternative knitters have no sense of humour
What a very scholarly man he must truly be, to make such astonishing and insightful comparisons.
Furthermore, Mr Wells claims that the last time he expounded such a sophisticated attack on our craft he:
received hysterical and barely literate death threats from the ferocious, fanatical, froth-gobbed and swivel-eyed knit Nazi massive.
Mr Wells proclaims that the current knitting ‘craze’ represents the death of feminism. Mr Wells clearly has not heard of feminist critic Lucy Lippard. Which maybe is not surprising, she’s just a little lady after all, and what more she is in her sixties now, so in terms of age would probably fit in his category of ‘senile old grannies’, even if she doesn’t actually have any grandchildren of her own.
Lippard was among the first writers to recognise the dematerialisation of conceptual art and was an early champion of feminist art. In her 1973 essay, ‘Household Images in Art’, she discussed how some feminist artists at the time had begun to appropriate traditional female techniques such as sewing, knitting and weaving into their artmaking practices. They saw these as a viable artistic means to express female experience, thereby pointing to their political and subversive potential.
But oh, silly me. I was starting to go all froth-gobbed there for a minute. Must go now, I’ve got some knitting to do. Behind locked doors and drawn curtains, you understand. It is a disgusting practice after all.
Cough. Splutter. Gasp. What the hell? I’d say ‘Fuck him’ but that might just prove him right, wouldn’t it, because nice knitters wouldn’t say that.
What a moron.I want to know where his evidence is.
and then I went looking for some place to write to him. He’s gutless. He left not contact details.
Sure, have a go at the punk notion of knitting or crafting if you want, but don’t claim the day is about any of that. That’s just a beat up so he had something to write, nothing more.
For me it’s the whole ‘let me laugh at you or else you’re a knit-Nazi’ that got my goat really. And you’re right, nowhere to comment either, big brave guy that he is…
Oooh what an ignorant man!! I was at a baby shower today otherwise I would have popped along to my LYS who planned on setting up chairs so you could knit outside the store. Mind you it was about 100 degrees today so I bet not many wanted to take that option!
first i tried to picture the vast majority of knitters i know suddenly becoming decorated with piercings & tats, & got the giggles (i have both, & pink hair – & stick out like a sore thumb! dammit, i forgot all about being a miscreant bastard folk-devil scum and had settled for my rather high up teaching post, silly me…ignorant featherbrained mere woman that i am)
then i started pondering where to insert my needles should the darling mr wells ever approach (but sadly i would obviously be overcome by the sheer manliness & superiority of his testosteroneladen physique, & faint on the spot)
what a shame if i manage to impale his virile member with a 6mm addis on the way to the floor…….tho’ i suspect he may like it
Someone posted on Ravelry about him (basically saying that he’s written this kind of stuff before, she wrote to him then about it but now she’s of the view that we all should just ignore him (because, you know, our indignation fans the flames of his writing). It was interesting the responses from people – they all agree that we should just ignore him, but some questioned her even posting about it. Anyway, I choose to ignore him!!
(also, someone made a very funny comment about the comparison to Nazis: “I’ve never invaded Poland” !!!
OMG what a deluded little man. I had to laugh though. Oh well! Off to knit at Chessington World of Adventures today.
You can contact me at thestevenwells@gmail.com. Or you can complain straight to the Guardian. Or you can develop a sense of humour.
Unbelievable. Knitters have the some of the best humor I’ve ever witnessed! If a piece of writing is meant to be satirical or even a good-natured ribbing, then it should in some way clue the reader in to that fact, right? Not just insult the group itself and let those outside of the group take its jabs at face value.
hey pea, you have a guardian writer reading your blog, not sure if thats a compliment or not but its certainly funny! obviously all this attention is just a big ego boost for him, as he will take it as confirmation of all he has said, but i personally find it hilarious that he has commented in this thread!
i bet he is a closet knitter & is on rav….
Mr. Wells seems to treat knitter baiting as some kind of sport – he clearly enjoyed the reaction first time enough to have another go. If his intention were truly comedic then I can’t wait to read his next arcticle on train and/or plane spotters (of which Clapham Junction and Heathrow will provide plenty of material) which I’m sure will be equally ‘hilarious’.
I suspect his childhood may have been tarnished by the crackling blue halo of acrylic handknits in bottle green and navy blue…
What an idiot.
Hey sweet pea,
I actually did laugh a lot when i read the article- but more so when i read your blog.
The best part is that he is in this thread?!!!! lol
He obviously writes this articles to get female attention- poor poor thing
Well at the end he is just a man
and he will never understand women…
Ah, so bullies never leave high school, they just get hired to write for that paper.